I Have Been Wondering

Artwork by Helen Liu, staff artist

I have been wondering

How this has happened to me

I am just a placeholder

Nothing without its burden

Yet overlooked even when carrying

The weight of the world

On my mind

I have been wondering

How I came to be

How was I lost in this endless sea

Of endless misery

So many things I should remember

A shopping list of headaches

Cold and unfamiliar

But God shows no mercy

At least not to people like me

I have been wondering

Questions swirling around my head

Bumping around, surfacing

The déjà vu is all encompassing

Life doesn’t discriminate*

Between the sinners and the saints

It takes and it takes

I have been wondering

Why am I treated like royalty

Why do people feel like

They have an obligation to help me

I know what they say behind my back

Or sometimes, in front of me

They think I can’t understand

Just ‘cause I can’t recall

Anything at all

I have been wondering

Who decided that I couldn’t know?

Know why I have to undergo

This kind of woe

They say

Your mind is too fragile

too weak

We have to slowly introduce the meek

We got to feed them scraps

that only pique their curiosity

Torturing them but convincing ourselves

Otherwise

In this sadistic world

Who cares about

Someone with a condition

Like me.

*after "Hamilton: An American Musical"

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Bio: Adrian Wang is a rising seventh grader who attends Scarsdale Middle School, in Westchester, NY. He recently has developed a love for vignettes, but also does novel writing. He hopes to give the reader a strong sense of tone through his pieces, and wants the reader to be fully immersed in his characters and world. When he’s not writing, you can find him studying or playing water polo.

#IncandescentStudio #poetry