SCARED TO SAY I’M NOT TOTALLY STRAIGHT

Artwork by Jenna Tse, staff artist

Life takes a new turn when you realize new things about yourself that change your perspective and your opinions. Being a non-straight person who is still figuring things out can be challenging. It scares most people to even admit being non-heterosexual because of the fear of being rejected and making things complicated.

Everyone who isn't straight is familiar with this story. Living in a country that is not proud of its LGBTQ+ community and having parents who are very conservative in matters of having a sexual orientation other than being straight is tough. You can be scared of coming out and facing every conservative comment and seeing the world look differently at you, afraid of your parents and what they will say when they find out. We go over almost thousands of possibilities of where the conversation can go and most of them are the possibilities of ruining our relationship with them. Keeping such a big development a secret is so difficult that you can’t even tell your best friend because you are scared of being misunderstood and judged by them. It feels lonely when nobody has a hint of what's going on and it hurts. We all have thought about fighting through all the stereotypes and conservative mindsets but are still terrified of coming out of that fight alone. Not all of us have the privilege of coming out safely. Some want to come out but are scared to admit and to face every conservative stereotype. It’s hard to trust anyone when you don’t know what to do next. This is a story of thousands of people and even more;the story of what they feel when they are overwhelmed with emotions and scared to tell anyone or admit of having a non-staright sexual orientation.

I’m here to tell you that you are not alone and never will be. Being scared is okay because everyone is ready at their own time. It is fine if it takes time to make sense of all the new things you figure out about yourselves. 

Everyone is different and you are who you are. You will go through some rough days thinking about how being non-straight makes your life complicated. On those days, remember that you are not alone and you matter to the world.  Accept yourselves as who you really are and someday the people you love will as well. It’s alright if it scares you to say that you are not totally straight, but when you believe in yourself, you won’t be scared forever.  You can’t change other people’s opinions but you can self-improvise to not care about what society says and fight for the right thing. 

I don’t know what the person reading this is going through, but know that your voice matters, and whatever day you decide to tell people who you are, someone is going to hear it and many are going to support you.

---

Japgun Kaur is a staff writer at The Incandescent Review. She is a high school student and lives in New Delhi, India. She is an active participant of various Model UN clubs. She loves to write about social and political issues. Follow her instagram account @interesting.writes

#pride #Imnottotallystraight #youarenotalone #LGBTQ+ #proud #iacceptmyself #isupportyou #rainbow #loveislove #youmatter